You are a Pain in the BOOB!

(NOTE: When you see the term "Nurse Jan" read it with as much sarcasm as you can.)

So I have been breastfeeding for 5 weeks today! Good for me, huh? Well, let me be the first to tell you that it is not easy. People think how convenient it is to breastfeed your baby since you don't have to make or clean bottles, measure out formula, etc. All you have to do is pop out your boob and the baby eats, right? WRONG--but that's a totally different post that I am not going to get into right now.
Let me get back to the point...I have this pain in my left ninny. Yes, ninny--that's what my mom called them when we were growing up. I mean it is horrible pain. It's like a huge rock under my skin.
So I call the doctor and I have to leave a message for the nurse (Jan) because the receptionist tells me if it's an infection I need to be seen by a doctor TODAY. An infected ninny?! Who knew that ninnies can get infected?
The nurse calls me back and asks me if I have any other symptoms. Um, my boob is as hard as a rock! Doesn't that warrant a trip to the doctor?
I say, "Hell yes it does!" But Nurse Jan says, "No."
Bitch.
She tells me that "...since you don't have any other symptoms you probably have a clogged milk duct. You should take lots of hot showers and massage the lump until it goes away." Really Nurse Jan?! In case you didn't hear me, Nurse Jan, I am the mom of a five week old! I am lucky if I get one shower a day and you want me to take "lots of showers"?!
I hate you Nurse Jan!