Don't Worry, This is Normal

One Year Ago...

2008-07-10T19:20:00.004-04:00

Haiku Friday

2008-06-20T21:20:00.002-04:00

Two years have gone by.

Happy Anniversary

to my dear husband.

Wordless Wednesday--Don't Eat Your Hand, Kid!

2008-06-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

Goals for the Summer

2008-06-17T16:24:00.003-04:00

Wear as little makeup as possible (unless I am going somewhere special).
Become friends with the gym again.

That's it for now. I'll add more later. I am really stoked about #1. I mean, REALLY! Lame, I know.

Haiku Friday

2008-06-13T16:06:00.001-04:00

Got a sick baby.

A virus is not much fun.

Feel better soon, bud!

Watch Out World....

2008-06-08T21:50:00.005-04:00

...here comes Brady!

Brady took his first steps on the last day of May. My grandmother claimed that she was a witch because she said he would walk early. In fact, her exact words were,

"Ha, ha. I'm a witch!!!! I told you he would walk before he was ten months! HA!"

I didn't have the heart to say, "Um, yeah, Mimi... Brady is already ten months old. As a matter of fact, he's 11 days away from being 11 months old."

She seemed to be so happy about "being a witch" (WTF that is all about, I. DO. NOT. KNOW!) that I didn't want to break her little heart.

I thought it fit to end my post with a picture of Brady and "the witch".

What the Devil Created

2008-06-04T22:15:00.002-04:00

The Devil, himself, created cookie dough that comes in a tub. It was bad enough when they started making it in those roll-thingies and you would just "slice and bake".

Now, it comes in a tub!!!! And I am a sinner because I worship the tub o' cookie dough. Nightly. Daily. Sometimes twice.

Well, tonight was rough. I normally grab a spoonful and then eat it and I am done. Well, tonight was rough. I know I types that already; I am trying to be dramatic. The tub was almost empty so I grabbed my spoon and grabbed the tub and...I TOOK THE WHOLE TUB AND SAT ON THE COUCH!!!!

So, you guys can ignore that post about my pants not fitting. LOL!

In love...

2008-06-01T21:09:00.003-04:00

...with my baby boy. He done so many things over the past two weeks. I am such a proud mama. It is such an amazing thing to watch your child discover new things. This is definitely the fun part of parenting. Here are just a few things that he has begun to do:

He got his 11th tooth!! Yes! I said, ELEVENTH!
Traveled to see his family in Pennsylvania.
Learned how to turn around before going downstairs.
Went to his first outdoor pool.
Pretends to talk on the phone.
Gives out kisses.
Claps.
Waves bye-bye.
Took his first steps. That's right...he started to walk.

I love this time! I can't wait to spend the summer with him. Now, If only he would sleep through the night--that would be nice. :-)

My Girls

2008-06-01T20:57:00.004-04:00

The other night, I had a little girls' night at my friend Laura's house. I had so much fun. I picked up my friend, Kelly, and we headed out for a little fun. I think every mommy needs a time for a little release and I was lucky enough to have that time the other night. What's even better?! I am even more lucky to have these girls in my life. I have known these two girls for over 10 years. We have been through so many things together. Babies, marriages, divorces, moving--we've experienced it all together. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Love you girls! :-*

My Pants Don't Fit....

2008-05-29T22:16:00.003-04:00

...and that is just plain old not cool. Today I was struggling in a pair of pants that I bought this past Christmas. They fit me then and they don't fit me now. Sad. (Picture me with a little frown) Well, they fit, but just not all that great. I guess I need to do something about it. Problem is, I have become so unfamiliar with the gym that I now refer to it as James.

Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week.

Ah, to be a kid again...

2008-05-24T12:03:00.002-04:00

This weekend Daddy and I got to do a few childish things while we were visiting Pants' grandparents. Here are a few pictures of the daredevils that we became while went went to the park.

Wordless Wednesday--Fieldtrip to the Botanical Gardens

2008-05-21T17:14:00.002-04:00

People are stupid...

2008-05-19T21:47:00.003-04:00

I had jury duty today. People are just stupid. Just down right NOT intelligent! I mean, I was embarrassed for some of these people. Here is my list of stupid people of the day:

the guy who was "allegedly" in possession of a baggie of heroin and a firearm.
the same guy as above because he was out "walking to meet a friend half-way" at 3 o'clock in the morning.
the police (or whom ever should have this job) that didn't test the gun or baggie of heroin for fingerprints.
the defense attorney that so skillfully mentioned the lack of fingerprints or DNA in his closing argument so that that would be the last thing upon which the stupid jurors would focus.
my fellow jurors that were asked if they lived in the vicinity of the address where the incident occurred. They didn't raise their hand, but upon deliberation 3 of them said that they "stay over there". What does that even mean?!
my other fellow juror that said, "Usually when a man is holding his gun at his house he's not wearing gloves. Well, all the men that I know that deal with guns." REALLY?! You know, and are willing to admit, that you know men that deal with guns?! Maybe I am naive, but TODAY was the first day in my 29 years of life on this Earth that I have even seen a gun up close.
And I will end on this one....the same juror as mentioned in #6 that said, "People get busted there all of the time. Prostitutes get Johns there right on that porch. In fact, Rocketman has been busted there plenty of times." I say, "Who is Rocketman?" (I ask because I don't live in the VICINITY of where this all occurred--you dumbasses!) "Oh, Rocketman is a 'he-she' prostitute that works over there." WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

Letter #523--The Neighbors

2008-05-16T21:57:00.004-04:00

Dear Neighbor Kids and your Friends Outside in the Street,

I don't mind that you guys are playing outside at 10 o'clock at night. I mean, you are like 13 or something so enjoy your childhood. I am a good neighbor. I don't call the cops on you when you are doing little skateboard tricks in the middle of the street (where cars are driving) or off of my sidewalk and I think it is funny to see you pull each other around in a wagon. I mean you are middle schoolers and, I'll best honest, it's funny to see you guys pushing the limits of safety. And I don't really think you are that weird when you put on a childs' dinosaur costume that is like 7x too small for you. Seeing you run around in that--I almost peed. my. pants. It's funny.

But I tell you one thing, you little loud mouthed punks. If your frolicking in the streets wakes up my baby, I will (so help me God) hang you from a tree by your too small dinosaur tail.

Neighborly hugs and kisses,

The Lady in the White House on the Corner

Unhealthy Obsession...

2008-05-16T21:43:00.002-04:00

It's so bad. I don't even want to admit it, but I have a LOVE for croutons. I know, I know. I should be so ashamed. I am hanging my head as I type. It's almost like I am pregnant again (WHICH I AM NOT--so don't get any ideas), because I have started to crave these things.

I had a bag in the pantry and I had nothing else so I started to nibble a few. Well, that was that and I was done. The NEXT morning I dropped Pants off at the babysitter's house and guess what she was doing?! She's an awesome German lady so there is really no telling what she may be doing, but I digress. She was making croutons. MAKING CROUTONS!!!!! FRICKIN'. HOME. MADE. CROUTONS. Why didn't I know that people did that? Anyway, I have been hooked and I have made them TWICE since Wednesday and um.....it's Friday. Tisk, tisk, tisk.

I am going to hide in the corner now (after I eat the rest of my croutons).

Single Mom Part 2

2008-05-15T21:03:00.006-04:00

So, Shane has been out of town for the past couple of nights. I didn't think that I would be able to handle taking care of Brady and getting ready for work in the morning. To my surprise, all has gone extremely well. I usually have my mom stay the night, but she couldn't this time (and that's okay with me). At first, I was stressed, but it has been so nice spending quiet time with my boy. He hasn't been feeling very well, so he has been a little clingy. When he is a little sicky or teeth are coming in, he will start in his bed and then wake up and only fall back to sleep in our bed. Sometimes it's annoying having to sleep V-E-R-Y still to not wake up your baby, but there is nothing like rolling over to see tiny baby arms thrown behind a little baby head. It's the best way to wake up at night.

Do single moms get to experience little joys like that all of the time? Just her and her baby? Maybe being a single mom isn't that bad, but I still can't wait until Daddy gets home!

Single Mom

2008-05-14T21:25:00.002-04:00

How do they do it?! Shane is out of town and normally I have my mom come over to stay the night, but I couldn't stand the smoke breaks and the snoring and the detailed recap of her day and the completed list of chores.

So, I have been doing it all by myself. I. Am. Tired. I mean, exhausted! I don't know how they do it!

To make matters a little bit more tough, Brady has been getting more molars, so he has been sleeping with me after 4ish. How am I supposed to shower in the morning?! I can't leave him in the bed and I would be an idiot to wake him up.

It's tough I, tell you--real tough.

Note to Self #325: Never become a single mom.

There is nothing like...

2008-03-29T16:45:00.002-04:00

...homemade whipped cream. I made it for my Easter dessert and I have been craving it ever since then. I mean, whipped cream is not the time of thing that you can eat off of a spoon. Well, it's not the type of thing that you should admit that you do (I may or may not do it--you'll never know).

It's really pathetic. I am trying to think of ways that I can make it with every meal. I need a Whipped Cream Anonymous. "Hi! My name is Lauren and I love whipped cream."

Sad. But true.

Good Grief!

2008-03-29T16:40:00.004-04:00

Being a baby is hard work. You've got teeth coming in and you're growing hair (...and we all know that takes a lot of energy) and you can't talk yet. It's rough!

Then add on an earache or two and you are a miserable little baby whose sleep schedule is all whacked-up and you don't feel like eating. Playtime is now at 3 in the morning and biting is a new favorite hobby of yours. You think in your little baby brain, "I wonder if I can break the skin this time?!"

I think it is harder on me than on him! LOL!

Baby Teef...

2008-03-04T17:40:00.003-05:00

...are a pain in the hiney. I feel so badly for lil' boy. He hasn't had a good night's sleep in a few days. Ahem, neither have his parents--but that's besides the point.
We have had to drive him in the car to put him to sleep. We tried feeding him, putting him in his crib, letting him play, walking him, singing to him, you name it and we tried it. At our wit's end we finally decided to go for a ride. So, we strapped him in and he gave a little whine and by the time we got to the corner--he was OUT!!! Thank goodness. That's the easy part. The real test of being a good parent is whether or not you can get him in the house without waking him.
No matter what time we do that he still wakes up at 11:30 p.m. and 3:30 a.m. It's tough. He has started (over the past two nights) to skip the 3:30 waking, but he is so restless. Poor baby and his teef. :-(

Dear Mother,

2008-02-26T21:32:00.003-05:00

I feel badly writing you this letter, but you get on my nerves sometimes and you don't stop talking (or smoking) long enough for me to tell you so.
Thank you for coming over to spend a few days with Pants and me while Shane is out of town. No, it is not alright if you sleep in the same room with the baby--your snoring will wake him up. But you didn't listen to me and he woke up. A lot. Um, thanks?
Sure, I will go and buy cleaning supplies so that you can clean the kitchen and the bathroom--even though it makes me feel like you think my house is dirty. Whatev.
And finally, Mom, my in-laws are coming into town this weekend. And you know that the family is getting together with them to hang out. No, I don't want a chocolate sheet cake or a store bought cake. I would NEVER hear the end of it. I just want you to make what I ask you to make!
Okay. I feel better now.
Hugs and kisses,
Your Daughter

Drinking tea is not easy...

2008-02-26T21:12:00.003-05:00

All I want to do is drink a glass of iced tea. I want to sit and surf the internet while I am drinking said tea. I want to relax and just wind down. But, alas, something is preventing me from my cup of bliss. It's called: Life.

See, I have a almost 8 month old baby. He's getting new teeth so his sleep patterns are unpredictable. He just slept for 30 minutes. Yeah, I thought he was down for the night. Nope. I just put him down again--maybe I will be lucky this time. But who could be upset when you see a goofy face like this:

Um, I also have laundry to do, a kitchen to clean, sleep to catch up on, lesson plans that I should be doing, a house to clean for my in-laws' visit this weekend...the list goes on. These are all things that I should be doing and not things that I want to be doing.

"Want" is no longer a word in my vocabulary. No more selfish wants. I am okay with that...as long as it doesn't interfere with my tea drinking. ;-P

So...

2007-12-19T22:01:00.000-05:00

I am going to get better at blogging. That is my New Year's Resolution--yes, made before the NY--I am just that good! Anyway, I am going to try to blog more. Some blogs I read have lots of drama. I don't have a lot of drama in my life, but we;ll see what I can do.

No, you're stupid!

2007-11-18T21:12:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking. When I read emails and such I sometimes notice that people use the word "to" incorrectly--and I think that's kind of dumb. I teach it to my 1st graders. Yeah, 1st graders people!!! I mean, seriously, it's just plain ol' dumbness or laziness.
Here's my question, though. Do they not know they are doing it? Do people think that I am stupid when I use the correct word? Do I correct them? What a bitch I would be then.
Hmmmm.....?

Buying clothes...

2007-08-19T08:11:00.000-04:00

So I found out that I was pregnant on November 9th. That means I was about 4 weeks pregnant and I actually got pregnant in October. October/November is my favorite time for buying clothes. I love all of the fall clothes that come out. What a dork, I know!
Late last summer, Shane and I spent a butt-load of money at Brooks Brothers. Because of that, we received a bunch of coupons that we could use on a certain date. I was saving up my coupons so that I could buy a few pairs of dress pants that fit me beautifully. I mean, they were the nicest pants I have ever put on! Well, when I got got pregnant I could not justify the purchase of my beloved pants so I didn't end up buying them. :-( But that's okay, because the dude that works there said they have them every year and Shane said that we could get them this year (Yes, you did. When we were in the store buying your shorts over the summer and I asked the dude about the pants you said that we would get them this fall. Remember? Well, you did.)
So, back to my point...when you get pregnant you can't shop at normal stores because of your expanding belly. You have to find stores that sell maternity clothes and let me be the first to tell you that those stores are hard to find. You have to settle for stores like Old Navy, Motherhood MAaternity, and Target. My favorite store is Ann Taylor Loft. Really.
I. Love. It.
I had to give up shopping at The Loft. It was sad. I felt dumpy in most of my maternity clothes. When I went to the mall I tried to convince myself that I could shop there if I bought things 3 or 4 sizes up. Finally, I came to my senses and carried my big butt to the pregnant lady store.
So now, I am not pregnant and I am fairly back to my regular size. So I went perusing The Loft website and GUESS. WHAT. I. SAW?

All I can do is post the link because I was so pissed!

http://www.anntaylorloft.com/catalog/editorial.jsp?pageName=MaternityAbout&categoryId=619

Things I need...

2007-08-17T16:13:00.001-04:00

Meagan's address. I would email her, but her email doesn't work.
A little tiny screwdriver so that I can put the batteries in Brady's Rainforest Mat.

Thanks, honey. You are a wonderful husband and this should not be thought of as nagging. I <3 you!

Um...something stinks

2007-08-17T16:09:00.001-04:00

Maybe it's just me, but I keep smelling baby puke. There is no one here for me to ask. I said, "Nabbie, do you smell puke?" He didn't answer me...cuz he's a dog.
Brady is upstairs sleeping in his crib (Shane, are you proud of me that I put him down?) and I still smell puke.
It doesn't smell very good.
That is all.

A letter to my love...

2007-08-17T15:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Harry,
I just finished reading the last book that will ever be properly written about you. I am glad that you didn't die and that you finally started doing things for yourself in this book. No more depending on Miss Know-It-All Hermione for your magical talents. I have enjoyed watching you grow from a lonely orphan to a strong manly wizard.
Unfortunately, I will never read about your life again. No more fighting dementors or Death Eaters. No more hatred for Professor Snape. No more Room of Requirement or trips to Hogsmeade.
I am sad, Harry. I miss you. I guess I will have to settle for the movies and find other books to read. It will be hard and I can't say that I am happy about it, but I am going to try my best to move on with my life. *sniffle*
<3,
Lauren

Shutup, Mom!

2007-08-17T15:17:00.000-04:00

So, my left boob was killing me the other day because of a clogged milk duct. I took hot showers and did the massage thing that dumb old Nurse Jan told me to do and now I feel really good. Almost like I have a new boob.
Well, in order to have the time to do the proper massaging in the shower I had my mom come over to sit with the baby. She lives with my Mimi so my mom told her where she was going. At least that' s ALL I thought she told her.
Today I went to my mom's for a little visit. My Mimi came upstairs and said hi and loved on Brady and then she looked at me and said, "How's your boob?"
HUH?! I was speechless, but I managed to mumble out an "alright" and quickly change the subject.
My mom has a BIG. FAT. MOUTH!
Yes, I may blog about my boob troubles, but I don't need my grandma asking about my boobs. Geez!

New Shoes

2007-08-17T15:02:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have something that you just love to wear all of the time?
I have this pair of Kenneth Cole flip flops that I bought a little over a year ago. They are not just regular old flippies. They are cute, sparkly, brownish sandals and I LOVE THEM! It may borderline along an obsession. It's so bad that I try to wear things that match my shoes and not the other way around. It's sad.
So, here is what I am wondering: since I wear them all of the time they definitely look "worn" (maybe worn to death, but that's okay because they are my favorite); do other people look at my shoes and say, "Dang, those shoes are beat-up!" or do they say, "Oh, those are cute!"
You know, I think that they are still wearable, but what do other people (that don't have quite the obsession for these shoes that I do) think? Do I really care? Not really. I will just cut off the loose strings and keep on wearing them. ;-)

You are a Pain in the BOOB!

2007-08-14T14:41:00.000-04:00

(NOTE: When you see the term "Nurse Jan" read it with as much sarcasm as you can.)

So I have been breastfeeding for 5 weeks today! Good for me, huh? Well, let me be the first to tell you that it is not easy. People think how convenient it is to breastfeed your baby since you don't have to make or clean bottles, measure out formula, etc. All you have to do is pop out your boob and the baby eats, right? WRONG--but that's a totally different post that I am not going to get into right now.
Let me get back to the point...I have this pain in my left ninny. Yes, ninny--that's what my mom called them when we were growing up. I mean it is horrible pain. It's like a huge rock under my skin.
So I call the doctor and I have to leave a message for the nurse (Jan) because the receptionist tells me if it's an infection I need to be seen by a doctor TODAY. An infected ninny?! Who knew that ninnies can get infected?
The nurse calls me back and asks me if I have any other symptoms. Um, my boob is as hard as a rock! Doesn't that warrant a trip to the doctor?
I say, "Hell yes it does!" But Nurse Jan says, "No."
Bitch.
She tells me that "...since you don't have any other symptoms you probably have a clogged milk duct. You should take lots of hot showers and massage the lump until it goes away." Really Nurse Jan?! In case you didn't hear me, Nurse Jan, I am the mom of a five week old! I am lucky if I get one shower a day and you want me to take "lots of showers"?!
I hate you Nurse Jan!

New perfume...

2007-08-10T14:29:00.000-04:00

Brady is one month old today. I think he started to celebrate yesterday by waking up extra early. That's okay, because that's what babies do, right? They wake up when they want to and you take care of them. Well, this morning was extra special because (like I said) he is one month old today and because he gave me a nice little present...new perfume. Yes! Sweet, huh? This morning Brady woke up extra early again and he had the "spit-ups" for a good portion of the morning. I mean, it got EVERYWHERE! So my new perfume was baby puke! Ah, the joys of being a new mommy. But as with everything that is "new baby", this, too, is normal.